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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The View From the Top


Okay, the Climb IS a Bit Difficult!





Here's me, starting out on the hike.





This is a bit further along the path!

Worth the Climb!





A climb up a waterfall is definitely hard--but so worth it!

How Hard Is That?

I'm not visiting castles any more, since I'm living in America now. However, life is still a journey. God has been teaching me a lot lately, and I find I learn a lesson better when I write about it. So I'm going to start blogging about the journey of life, throwing in some castle pictures as I go.

I'm currently reading through a book by Joyce Meyer called Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind. I'm reading a chapter each morning while eating breakfast. It doesn't seem like brilliant new ideas--but they are still ideas I need to hear and be reminded of.

This morning I read Chapter 18. She's going through "Wilderness Mentalities"--attitudes that kept the Children of Israel in the wilderness for 40 years and that also keep us figuratively in the wilderness much longer than we need to be. Today's chapter was called "Please make it easy; I can't take it if things are too hard!"

I was especially struck by this paragraph: "Even when we are determined to press through and do something, we spend so much time thinking and talking about 'how hard it is' that the project ends up being much more difficult than it would have been had we been positive instead of negative."

The reason that paragraph hit me was that just a couple of days ago, my friend and I were commiserating about how often our sons complain and complain over schoolwork. By the time they stop complaining about how much they have to do or how hard it is, they could have finished the schoolwork three times over! Watching it frustrates us to no end.

However, reading this, I realized that I do exactly the same thing--about life! I think about the things I feel God is specifically asking me to do at this time in my life:

1. Don't brood over past hurts. God forgives, and God can beautifully handle any lessons that the ones who hurt me need to be taught.

2. Don't worry about the future. God can handle it.

3. Rejoice!

Okay, those jobs don't really sound terribly hard, do they?

So why, why do I hear myself telling people how hard it is to carry these out? Why do I say, "It would be so much easier if I could just say, 'To hell with that person!' and get angry and put them out of my life." Now there's a lie of Satan!

Okay, maybe as far as doing it goes, brooding and resentment is easier. But as far as being easier on me, easier on my body, easier on my well-being, easier on my relationships, rejoicing is unbelievably easier!

Now, even with that said, it's one thing to say, "Don't brood, forgive." and quite another thing to do it. Joyce Meyer speaks to that issue, too. She says, "Things get hard when we are trying to do them independently without relying on God's grace. If everything in life were easy, we would not even need the power of the Holy Spirit to help us.... He is in us and with us all the time to help us, to enable us to do what we cannot do--and, I might add, to do with ease what would be hard without him."

After I read that, I got to thinking that it's not like this journey through a crisis in my marriage and separation from my husband has not been hard. It's unquestionably been the hardest time in my life.

As I was thinking about that, she continued on: "Sometimes God leads us the hard way instead of the easy way, because He is doing a work in us. How will we ever learn to lean on Him, if everything in our lives is so easy that we can handle it by ourselves?"

Going back to the Children of Israel, she says, "He took them the harder way to teach them Who He was and that they could not depend on themselves."

Amen!!! In the end, the harder way is worth it. However, when the way starts getting easier, let's not try to make much of our "suffering" and complain about the hard road. When the path starts being easier, don't waste your time talking about the big mountain you see coming up or complaining about the peak you just climbed. Be quiet, rejoice in a downhill stretch, and start walking! :)

Let's see, next I'll post a picture of a castle at the top of a waterfall. We had a steep, steep climb to get there, and then a gorgeous view rewarded us at the top. Climbing back to the car was much easier--but being tired still made it hard. How annoying, though, it would be to spend the whole downhill climb complaining about how tired we were!

Friday, May 11, 2007

Rainbows

Back in November 2005, the week after my husband told me he wanted a divorce, I went to a Writer’s Conference in Paris, where I’d be meeting up with some dear friends. (Described below.)

On the way to the train station, I prayed earnestly about my marriage and about the conference. As I was praying, I looked up and saw a beautiful rainbow shining over the way I was traveling. I laughed and decided I should take it as a sign that both the conference and my marriage would go well.

The trip to Paris ended up being one of the best weeks of my life. We even had sunshine and warmth in November! When I got home I told people that I hoped the rainbow was also a sign that my marriage would be restored—and soon after, I saw another one.

Fast forward to April 2007. My husband is in a literal far country, with no signs of softening toward me. However, I have gotten many signs from God that he will come back, and God is going to make him a spiritual leader. When I learned that my husband (in the military) is coming back to my state—still 3 or 4 hours away, God told me, “Don’t worry. I will take care of it. Simply rejoice.”

Still, I had these niggling worries in the back of my mind that maybe all this was just my own wishful thinking.

Then, one Sunday morning, we were singing a song we’ve never sung before in church. It was “I Can See Clearly Now,” with a Christian verse put on the end. The second verse goes like this:

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone.

[My thoughts: “Yes, God’s getting me through!”]

All of the bad feelings have disappeared.

[“Well, most of them!”]

Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin for.

[“Oh, yes! Remember that rainbow on the way to Paris! And it really did come true as a sign of a wonderful week in Paris! I hope it’s also a sign that my marriage will be healed and become a thing of beauty!”]

It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Sun-Shiny day.

["Remember how sunshiny it was in Paris, even in November? That was such a gift of God. Wouldn’t it be neat to pray for a rainbow right NOW? But that would be silly, and not really fair. Of course God can’t give me a rainbow now. I mean, come on, we’re inside! Besides that, it’s already bright and sunshiny, so there’s no way a rainbow could even shine through the back window. This isn’t the sort of day when rainbows appear. But it would sure confirm that my marriage is going to be restored. Well, I’ll just thank Him for a bright sunshiny day and the wonderful memories from Paris. I won't test God by asking Him for something impossible"]

We finished the song, but were still standing and singing. A woman walked in, and chose a spot (still standing), a couple of rows ahead of me, smack in front of me, with no one in between us.

Immediately, I noticed she had an Eiffel Tower on her colorful blouse. I always notice Eiffel Towers. Her back—with the Eiffel Tower standing tall over an impressionistic scene—was in full view of me. “How pretty!” I nudged my son, “Look! Paris!” Then I kind of gasped.

Because it was kind of impressionistic, but the blouse definitely had rainbow colors in a curved sort of shape over Paris.

Just when I had been thinking that God couldn’t bring a rainbow inside, He did exactly that. I was completely blown away. I don’t doubt it any more. That was far too specific, too carefully crafted especially for me.

God is amazing. I can imagine Him smiling as he sent that rainbow inside, just for me. I can’t wait to see what He will do next.